Why Trying Harder Will Never Fix Your Dating Life
The Biology of Desire with Jennifer van Allen
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been a little quieter here.
Not because nothing was happening — quite the opposite.
Last year, I took Jennifer’s HIP training (Holistic Intuitive Practitioner). What started as a personal investment slowly turned into deeper conversations about patterns, the nervous system, and how we actually relate — to food, to money, to love.
Somewhere along the way, it became clear that we work very well together.
So instead of just casually sharing her work, I decided to support the launch of her new course, Hungry for More.
This first episode is the beginning of that journey.
You Did the Work. So Why Is the Pattern Still There?
In our conversation, we explore something many self-aware women quietly wrestle with:
You’ve done therapy.
You’ve worked on communication.
You’ve practiced self-love.
You’ve tried to heal.
And yet, the same pattern in dating keeps showing up.
Jennifer approaches this from a different angle — not from psychology, not from affirmations, and not from “just regulate your nervous system.”
Instead, we look at attraction and relational patterns through a biological lens.
Because before emotion, before mindset, before attachment style — there is cellular signaling. There is energy. There are neural pathways that determine how we relate.
And if those patterns don’t shift, trying harder only strengthens them.
The Strong Independent Woman Pattern
We also talk about something that might feel familiar:
The woman who learned to trust herself — and only herself.
The one who doesn’t ask for help.
Who carries everything.
Who stays in control.
Not because she’s broken.
But because she adapted.
Understanding that shift — biologically, not just emotionally — changes the way we approach love entirely.
This Is the Beginning
This episode isn’t about quick fixes.
It’s about stepping back and asking:
What if the issue was never effort?
What if the issue was the pattern underneath?
If this resonates, you can watch the full episode above.
Over the coming weeks, we’ll go deeper into the roadmap, the patterns, and the biology behind desire.
And if you’re curious about Hungry for More, I’ll share more about that as well.
For now, this is the starting point.
Perfect. I’ll give you a closing section that feels natural, not salesy — but still clear.
You can place this at the bottom of the blog post.
Curious to Go Deeper?
If this conversation resonated — especially the part about “doing the work” but still feeling stuck — you might want to explore Jennifer’s course Hungry for More.
It’s not traditional dating advice.
It looks at attraction, desire, and relational patterns through a biological lens — starting at the cellular level and building outward.
You can begin by taking the quiz to identify your core pattern:
👉 Take the Quiz: https://www.jennifervanallen.com/hungry-for-more-quiz
If you already know you want to explore the full program, you can learn more here:
👉 Hungry for More: https://www.jennifervanallen.com/hungry-for-more-quiz
If you decide to enroll, you can use my code PATRICIABOHL for $100 off.
Affiliate note: If you join using my code, you receive $100 off and I receive a commission. I only share programs I’ve personally invested in and believe in.
